Allah is The Greatest

It was after prayer..
Maghrib
I was doing zikr
Just regular one
33 times..
At first it was Subhanallah
and then Alhamdulillah
continued with Allahuakbar...
with my eyes closed
then suddenly I was asleep
Still Allahuakbar..
I was in a dark room
and there was a hole
and suddenly I saw light coming out from that hole
At that moment, I realized that I am sleeping
and experiencing a dream
and my mind start to think
I lost my focus
I lost my count
I opened my eyes
I woke up
the dream ended.
Allahuakbar.. Allahuakbar.. Allahuakbar..

Gila

So much have happened since the last time I wrote
1. I'm lost
2. I don't know

I am an Arts student now.
Life? Amazing
Alhamdulillah

Sick

I shall not waste time anymore. Stupidity arises and that makes me sick. It's sad.

Islam will win. We're all aware of that. And I have decided to be outside the circle. And I will bloom. And I  will cover and help and nourish the people inside the circle. Until I am inside. Until there are no more circle. We're thick as one. And we shall fight. And we shall win. We shall. Inshallah.

S & C

I'm scared. Scared of what might happen.

I'm confused. Confused of what's happening.

Something is going to happen. A few possibilities have been running in my head this few days. Usually what's in my head got nothing to do with me. But have something to do with my life. See.. I told you I'm confused don't I? What sucks is that, everything got mixed up.

But it's nice though to feel like this. Pushing my thinking capacity to what limit, I don't know. And when this anxiety feeling ends, I'll disappear to be just another Mary Jane.

NIghtmare

Tomorrow will be my last day of lecture of 2nd semester before moving on to study week. Supposedly study week is a week free of lecture class, and it is a week where student is given time to study on their own. Unfortunately, somehow, on this semester I don't know why I have compilation of delayed classes and it is scheduled to be replace on study week. 

This is... stressing. -.-"

At this moment I don't know what will happen. My mom will surely be hard to co-operate with my ridiculous schedule. There are also 99.1% that she refuse to send me and then pick me up at college. She will suggest to me to stay at college. Alone. With the cafe closed. All of this just leave me numb.

I am lost. I don't know what I should study. Thinking back, this is like my worst nightmare. Plus, this is my first experience confronting exams with no books. Yeah, I didn't buy any single reference book this semester.

Anyway, my best, good friend is getting married. She asked me to be her 'mak andam'. Isn't she just ridiculously insane? :')

Progress

If I were given a chance to measure my experience I would like to know where am I at this moment. So much have happened in my life. One good thing about my life is that I don't usually planned it, in fact I imagined it. I always imagine what am I, where am I, in 2-3 years in the future. But in time, all that doesn't seem to matter anymore. Because you'll never know. Only Allah knows. 

I am sure that I have certain specialty that doesn't go away no matter how much I try to change. That's why I named it specialty because.. you see.. not so many people have it. Hehe. I guess it is fun to go trough some adventure and testing yourself to the limit. Just to see what will comes out of you. 

But in the end, life is not about testing yourself to the limit. You were born to worship Allah. That's the fact. What's the use to test yourself to some sort of limits when it is something haram. It's just wrong. 

If you're looking for a person to be an example, we always have Prophet Muhammad S.A.W. Whenever I thought of him, it literally makes me want to cry. He is the most perfect human in mankind, yet he is so humble. You see, that's the point. Nobody should feel perfect and at the same time be grateful of what Allah have made you. 

For know, at these moment, I can't be thankful enough. My life seems perfect.. :)

I Can't

I wanted to remove you but I miss you.