S & C

I'm scared. Scared of what might happen.

I'm confused. Confused of what's happening.

Something is going to happen. A few possibilities have been running in my head this few days. Usually what's in my head got nothing to do with me. But have something to do with my life. See.. I told you I'm confused don't I? What sucks is that, everything got mixed up.

But it's nice though to feel like this. Pushing my thinking capacity to what limit, I don't know. And when this anxiety feeling ends, I'll disappear to be just another Mary Jane.

NIghtmare

Tomorrow will be my last day of lecture of 2nd semester before moving on to study week. Supposedly study week is a week free of lecture class, and it is a week where student is given time to study on their own. Unfortunately, somehow, on this semester I don't know why I have compilation of delayed classes and it is scheduled to be replace on study week. 

This is... stressing. -.-"

At this moment I don't know what will happen. My mom will surely be hard to co-operate with my ridiculous schedule. There are also 99.1% that she refuse to send me and then pick me up at college. She will suggest to me to stay at college. Alone. With the cafe closed. All of this just leave me numb.

I am lost. I don't know what I should study. Thinking back, this is like my worst nightmare. Plus, this is my first experience confronting exams with no books. Yeah, I didn't buy any single reference book this semester.

Anyway, my best, good friend is getting married. She asked me to be her 'mak andam'. Isn't she just ridiculously insane? :')

Progress

If I were given a chance to measure my experience I would like to know where am I at this moment. So much have happened in my life. One good thing about my life is that I don't usually planned it, in fact I imagined it. I always imagine what am I, where am I, in 2-3 years in the future. But in time, all that doesn't seem to matter anymore. Because you'll never know. Only Allah knows. 

I am sure that I have certain specialty that doesn't go away no matter how much I try to change. That's why I named it specialty because.. you see.. not so many people have it. Hehe. I guess it is fun to go trough some adventure and testing yourself to the limit. Just to see what will comes out of you. 

But in the end, life is not about testing yourself to the limit. You were born to worship Allah. That's the fact. What's the use to test yourself to some sort of limits when it is something haram. It's just wrong. 

If you're looking for a person to be an example, we always have Prophet Muhammad S.A.W. Whenever I thought of him, it literally makes me want to cry. He is the most perfect human in mankind, yet he is so humble. You see, that's the point. Nobody should feel perfect and at the same time be grateful of what Allah have made you. 

For know, at these moment, I can't be thankful enough. My life seems perfect.. :)

I Can't

I wanted to remove you but I miss you.

Love and Trust

I always wonder why do people always have to be in a relationship. Sometimes they don't even know the person that well, yet they agreed to be in a relationship. I guess it's a trend. To have someone to talk to on the phone. To chat with on Facebook. To meet during holidays and the list goes on and on. Does it make sense that you're in a relationship, but you are not happy.
I rather be in love or beloved than being in an unhappy relationship. I see my a lot of my girlfriends cried over their boyfriend because of only stupid stuffs. I mean it doesn't make sense. Love is a happy kind of thingy. If you're not happy then that's not love. Love is lovin the way someone talks, the way he/she rolled eyes, the way they walk, memorising their body language and...of course feeling happy. Like everything is a little adventure when you're with them.
Talking bout trust. It's sad. Cause some people don't take trust seriously. Cross the limit and I'll delete you from my life. Please do not dare me. Unless you don't know me well enough I suppose I don't have to give a shit.

Percaya

Susah nak percaya benda kalau takde bukti. Betul?
Tapi kalau bukti tu direka. Agak-agak kita percaya tak.
Sedangkan sesuatu kejadian tu tak terjadi pun.
Fake proof pulak diusul.
Kesian yang tertuduh.
Nama baik tercemar.
Seluruh keturunan terjejas.
Ada fikir tak?
Takda kan.
Sape kesah, bukan kena kat kita pun kan.
Kan?
So amek tahu. Bacalah, baca. Penting Sejarah tu.
Good luck fighters. Keep on making mistake at a young age will make you matured faster.
Yeke?

Adrenaline Rush.

When I was in primary school, I changed school about 5 times. I don't really have a childhood friend like some people had. I was always upset. But that doesn't stop me from making friends. I have friends wherever I go. Good friends I would say. 

In time, I was less sentimental and finds it hard to laugh. I rarely laugh.

When I was in Standard 6, thing begins to change. My parents finally bought a house and I got a little brother.

I moved to a new opened school near my house and met a few people that I call my best friend today.

I chose to live a moderate life. I feel alone sometimes but I know that my friends and family will always be there at the end of the road. That makes me stronger, happier and lively each day. 

Cheers. =D